Monday menu: from self-doubt to serendipity

Priorities and intentions

Welcome to this week’s 5-piece selection of intentions and directions for the week ahead, based on some personal pillars and priorities such as career, creatvity, physical health, mental health, social circle, dining, reading, seeking, wearing… and so on. Why? Because spending some time thinking about what you want to achieve and how you want to feel by the end of the week is a really good way to begin it. Intentions don’t have to be serious and sterile, they are about creating, owning and living the life you want to lead. I hope you do something with intention this week, whatever form it takes.

A photograph of Valentino Garavani’s house near Paris, via Architectural Digest. I saved this photograph years and years ago. Though I don’t think I could have such a busy room, it is so excuisite and so in harmony, I find myself enchanted nonetheless.

1. Mantra: To doubt yourself is to deny yourself.
   If, like me, you dally with self-doubt more often than not, then, like me, you know it is one of the most inhibiting practices you can possibly engage in. Sometimes, it comes as a tiny hesitation, but a long-enough pause to make your palms start to sweat and your head fill up with all sorts of words and questions. ‘What if… I don’t think I can… Who am I to…?’, leaving you disengaged and distracted as you seek answers that are not there. At the worst of times, it will stop you from doing, going, seeing, experiencing, learning from and living the life you strive for. It can go on and on, for hours or days or months on end, following you around, weighing you down and pulling you back in, like a tidal wave that won’t let you get back to shore. But the power to make self-doubt a little more beneficial is not lost. Acknowledging self-doubt can move you forward, acting as a spur, a desire to improve. It can reveal your fears and shame and weaknesses - all things you can improve upon and release yourself from when you purposefully pursue them. It might be uncomfortable, but acknowledging when and why you have self-doubt is an empowering step if it leads you to take positive action. Resolve, don’t ruminate. Feel it, but don’t feed it. Don’t let self-doubt self-dictate.
   To doubt yourself is to cap your wings, to deny yourself the ability, the privilege, your right to fly.
   

2. Quoting: ‘To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance’ - An ideal husband (1895), Oscar Wilde
   

3. Socialising: On Tuesday, I have an evening with The White Company (no affiliation with the surname, I am sad to report) and their Christmas collection, fuelled by cheese, wine and charcuterie - a delight! On Friday, my Chatsworth weekend begins. This is what inspired me to write about self-doubt this week, as I am incredibly excited, but can feel my gut twisting as I wonder whether I am enough of a character for other people to enjoy the experience with, and if I am capable of producing the quality work that Country Life expects once I have been. But I need not worry! I know I will immerse myself, let myself be charmed, and I won’t let self-doubt stop me from loving every minute.

   

   Works of art (and wonders for combatting self-doubt). Iris mule, £435, Cult Gaia

4. Substacking: I’ve been scenting and summarising, so have a new fragrance feature incoming focussed on a particular note that unexpectedly captured my attention and brought unexpected scents into my remit. I can’t wait to share it.
   

5. Word of the week: Serendipity
   ‘An aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident’
   Do you want to know a secret? Desirable discoveries are everywhere, you just have to be open to seeing them.
   
   Have a wonderful week.